i called my grandpa to wish him a happy 69th birthday and he said, “I skipped straight to 70. I don’t do 69 anymore, I’m too old to bend that way” and started laughing hysterically
grandpa
(via goreisthenewpink)
so we were talking about sexism in maths and i sit on a table with all boys, and i said “you know women could all agree to stop having sex with men and essentially stop the human race” and this one boy goes “well boys could all agree to stop having sex with women and-” but this other boy cut him off like “yeah dude that ain’t gonna happen” and i died
(via taurusinthetardis)
when i was at my first high school there was this really religious girl who would tell you off if you swore or said stuff like ‘oh my god’ and then one day she wouldn’t stop correcting the science teacher and he just turned around and went “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SOPHIE SHUT THE FUCK UP” and she freaked out and started praying and then the next week her parents tried to sue the teacher
Everyone fucking lies, everyone breaks promises and everyone always fucking leaves.
(via goreisthenewpink)
